


The she-Hobbit of the Mountain (1) -- An Unexpected Journey

by ReginaRubie



Series: The she-Hobbit of the Mountain [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, fem!Bilbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21603139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReginaRubie/pseuds/ReginaRubie
Summary: So, and bear with me, what if Bilbo Baggins of Bag End was actually born a she-hobbit?What of it? Would Gandalf still choose her for an adventure to reclaim a dwarven lost kingdom and would she still met the company? Of course.In this fanfiction Earlene Baggins mets a strange wizard with stranger still purposes, then she joins a company of dwarves (dwarves! All unvited in her home, mind you) and helps its leader (the broody and brutal Thorin Oakenshield) on a quest to reclaim the Arkenstone (the symbol of his right to rule under the mountain) and scavenge it under the nose of a firebreathing dragon.Earlene was always at least strange.. and between Strange and Mad, you know, she always walked a thin line. Perhaps this time, thought, she'll find what she (too) was searching for a place to which she could belong. Amongs dwarves and with their king.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Series: The she-Hobbit of the Mountain [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556965
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. An unexpected meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So, yes I know many have done this before and yet the other day I re-watched the Hobbit and just couldn't get the idea out of my mind...so here we are.
> 
> I hope you'd like my take on this (overused really) plot-device of gender-bending and that you'd let me know what you think about it.
> 
> So, without further ado I leave you with the story hoping you'd like it! Good (I hope) reading!

ONE  
**AN UNEXPECTED MEETING**

  
Earlene Baggins collected the dishes with which she had just finished her afternoon snack, placing them in the bowl. She would normally wash them immediately - hating to see dirty dishes around the house - but for some strange reason (or fate dictated joke) that afternoon she decided to grab her favorite pipe and sit in the garden with a nice book.

That night she had strange, chaotic, nebulous dreams that she barely remembered, but that had left her agitated; that morning when she went to the market to buy some eggs and vegetables she was practically blown up when her Gaffer's youngest son, Samwise Gangee, grabbed her skirt - the polite creature he was - to greet her. 

Not that the onlookers had said anything, besides whispering - in a voice and hidden behind their own hands - that Baggins the Weirdo seemed stranger than usual. And she had to admit that maybe she had been. She had left in a hurry after waking up in such a state of bewilderment that she had reached the market with a good hour's delay on the time considered acceptable by hobbit opinion. Moreover, she had gone out with her hair loose - a rather scandalous thing in the Shire - and, as if that were not enough, she had (not that it was anything new) her head in the clouds.

She needed to relax and smoking a bit and a good book seemed the best solution. She grabbed a tome that she had reread countless times, one of the many books that her father had left her as an inheritance after his untimely death, just a few years later his wife, Belladonna. She opened the round and recently repainted green door of her hobbit hole and closed it behind her, passing a hand on the smooth and warm surface because of the sun beating over it at that hour of the afternoon. 

She sat down on her favorite stone bench, the one from which she could see her hobbit garden and gate, raised her hairy feet by placing them on a block, adjusted her skirt and opened her book and then lit her pipe. She couldn't tell how long she had read and how much she had fantasized.

Years had passed since Earlene last fantasized about the lands outside the Shire - from when she had just passed from adolescence to adulthood, a handful of years earlier - when she was a child they were the only thing she could talk about scandalizing not only her family members but all the inhabitants of the Shire; they said that she was too witty and blamed her Took blood for her strangeness, but her mother and father would never distort her to the point of preventing her from pursuing her dreams even though her father had often tried to suggest to her, especially after her mother's death, to find a good match, a kind hobbit that would respect and love her and with which to build a family.

Not that Earlene didn't want a family one day. But the days had turned into weeks, months, and years, and now there was no one who would have fallen - despite her wealth - to marry Baggins the Weirdo. 

She blew out three perfect rings of concetrical smoke and ajarred her eyes trying to drive away those nasty thoughts that made her fear she would be left alone for life; as she relaxed her shoulders and back, the now forgotten book on her lap, she seemed to feel a strange tickle to her nose that smelled suspiciously of pipe smoke. She opened her eyes annoyed to find herself in front of a strange figure, strangely familiar and definitely not hobbit. A man, tall and dressed in gray, with a gray beard, thick eyebrows and a pointed hat, an old man leaning ostentatiously on a wooden stick of excellent workmanship almost as tall as himself; but if his appearance could have betrayed a certain advanced age, his blue eyes shone eccentrically and brightly. That look gave her a spontaneous smile on her face.

"Good morning" she greeted him politely - although he was not so polite, for a stranger to stop in front of a hobbit hole not really his own and stare insistently at the landlady - with a nice friendly smile, convinced that the thing would end there.

Oh, how wrong she was.

"What do you mean? Do you mean that today is a good day, that today will be a good day, or that it will be a good day regardless of whether I want it or not?" When asked about that Earlene felt her eyebrows rise - in an uneducated expression - in disbelief.

"All of those, I suppose." she commented uncertainly. The presence of that strange stranger began to disturb her a little. Seeing that the stranger was merely staring at her, Earlene, as a docile and kind creature she was, asked "Can I help you?"

"I'm not entirely convinced - the man commented enigmatically - I'm looking for someone to share an adventure with. "

"And adventure? -- she choked on the word -- I am sorry, but I don't think you'd find anyone up for an adventure west of Bree. Perhaps you should try over the hill and over the water perhaps some of my Took cousin would take you up on that offer." She had grown up, had it been through her childhood and adolescent years when she had dreamt of exploring the world beyond the Shire and joining in on millions of adventures it would have been different. Since the man didn't seem to want to leave, Earlene decided to return home, "Well, if that's all, I wish you well in your search. We don't want adventures here - she felt obliged to specify - good morning." she ended hoping to dismiss the unknown weirdo. If the other hobbits had seen her in the company of such a peculiar subject, her already fragile reputation would have been completely destroyed.

"And to say that I had to live all the lives of men to feel goodmorninged by Belladonna Took's daughter," the stranger commented before she could even just put her hand to the knob of the door. She stiffened suddenly. She turned with flaming eyes. "You've changed Earlene Baggins - he pointed out - and I don't think it was for the best."

"Excuse me, do we know each other? - she asked, taking a step in the direction of man, regardless of the fact that, for reasons of nature, he was towering over her in an almost threatening way with his dark clothes and pointed hat - no, because I have the impression that you think you know me. And yet I don't remember you," she took another step, "I would like to point out to you that gossip is already in itself an act of bad manners, but to do so in the face of the object of the gossip is terribly inconvenient."

"You know my name," the man commented, changing the supporting hand of his staff, "but you don't know that I'm the one to carry it." Earlene made a grimace of disbelief, but the man continued, "I am Gandalf!" 

The name pulled a few strings of her memory. _Gandalf_ , she thought, _Gandalf the_.. "Oh of course, Gandalf! - exclaimed - I remember you. Well, not you, but your fireworks. Old Took always made them shoot for his birthday party," she recalled, "forgive me, I didn't recognize you immediately."

Gandalf was a magician who knew her grandfather and mother very well, but she herself had seen him a handful of times when she was too young to remember. The man made a grimace "I'm glad you remember something about me, even if only my fireworks."

  
Earlene smiled at this, yes, the wizard was a weird guy, but he was an old friend of the Thain so he had to be treated with the respect he deserved - she grimaced - she had spent little time at her grandfather's house, among the Tooks, but that place was like a military barracks and his grandfather was the most terrible of the generals and he became even worse when it came to organizing birthday parties.

"Well - the man inspired with a smile - then it's decided. It will do you a lot of good," he commented, "and it will certainly make me laugh." Earlene made a grimace of misunderstanding, but the man had already stepped back "Color rather lively" he pointed out, she turned on the door. 

"I had it repainted buut a week ago" she commented disoriented "Well, Mr. Gandalf, good luck with your search. I now have many dishes to wash. Goodbye," she hurried, opening the door and immediately returning home to avoid the strange character trying to convince her to join his adventure.

And that was the end of the matter. Or so he had (wrongly) thought. But she soon realized that things hadn't gone as smoothly as she had thought when, a couple of nights later (it was a Wednesday) just as soon as she had sat at the table with a plate of fish and hot potatoes, someone knocked on her door.

Cautioned that someone would show up - without an invitation - at such an hour and worried that something serious had happened to one of her relatives, Earlene rushed to respond the door and was surprised by seeing standing on her porch (wonder of wonders!) in front of a dwarf; a dwarf who also looked rather threatening. He had long, smooth hair that started from the back of his head leaving the rest of his head peeled and tattooed, he had an arsenal of weapons that could not be ignored and was at least twice his size. He gave her a curious look, but decided, before doing a funny bow "Dwalin - he presented himself - at your service."

Earlene not astonished enough not to remember the good manners replied the greeting "Earlene Baggins - she replied dumbly - to yours." 

The dwarf surprisingly, entered her humble home and hung his cloak on the coatrack, then gave her an almost accusatory glance. "Which way is dinner?" he asked without a word, almost abruptly. Earlene grimaced, but made her way anyway. She debated about what to do: there was an unknown dwarf at her door. 

"I was just sitting and about to start eating..." but the dwarf had already sat in her favorite chair and started eating her handmade dinner, made with a lot of love. She grimaced and sat down on the kitchen sill, watching him miserably as he was purging dinner without saying a word. 

When he had finished, he announced his appreciation with a rude and brutal burp, to say the least, but Earlene refrained from pointing it out to him, "Is there anything else of this?" he asked, far from being a bad hostess, Earlene nodded, offering him a savoury cheese cake and pickles, but as soon as she had them on the table, someone knocked back on the door.

"That would be the door," her unexpected guest pointed out, annoyed, Earlene shook her head to get away from the surprise and approached the door, opening it, only to be faced with another dwarf, shorter and plumper than the other, but strangely similar, with thick snowy hair and an equally white beard. He gave her a friendly smile, "Balin - he greeted with a bow - at your service."

Earlene blinked several times, convinced that she was wrong, but when she noticed that the dwarf was still there, she repeated her greeting, clutching her robe around her waist, "Earlene Baggins, at yours."

She made room for him to enter and only when the chubby dwarf exclaimed "Brother!", opening his arms, did he notice the presence of her first unexpected guest in the hallway. The two hugged each other and exchanged a mighty warhead that made her teeth grind, and she remained impassive to watch them both heading into the kitchen with small talk hot on their lips. 

The white-haired dwarf, Balin, asked her if she had a pint of beer or some good wine and Earlene walked to the pantry muttering to herself. Shortly after she had offered wine and beer, someone else knocked. She practically jumped to the door to be in front of two dwarves (two more!) much younger than the previous ones, with much more luxurious clothes, one blond and the other dark of hair. The blond had even more beard than the one with the dark hair. They proferated in twin bows exclaiming "Fili and Kili! At your service." 

Earlene couldn't make it "I'm sorry but there's nothing for you here..." she made to close the door on their faces - terrible rudeness, but forced by events - but the one with the dark hair (Kili?) kept it open and asked frightened and disappointed "Did they cancel it?"

"What? - she exclaimed in surprise - no. They didn't cancel anything at all," so they pushed themselves inside the house, hanging their cloaks not on the coat rack, but on her arms as if she were the coat rack. She sighed and rested the cloaks in place. Ignoring the noises of the head against the head while the dwarves way of greeting each other.

And when she thought that it couldn't be any worse (and remember she would have thought it many times in the course of this story) another blow to the door caused her to shake, this time those who had knocked had done so with greater insistence and when she opened the door not one, not two, not three, but eight dwarves fell forward in her entrance, behind them a Gandalf far too satisfied with himself.

"Gandalf."

The dwarves were terribly noisy and had taken to prey on her pantry, dragging her chairs ("that's my grandfather's armchair!") raiding the entire house ("that's a doily, not a handkerchief!") there were so many (twelve, twelve!) that Earlene no longer knew which way to look and Gandalf seemed too amused and satisfied not to be guilty. 

"Oh Earlene, my dear, what's with that long face?" he asked her evidently amused. She carried her fists on her hips and arched an eyebrow.

"There are twelve dwarves, _twelve!_ , in my house. _Not invited_ ," she pointed out with an accusing index finger, "I suppose you had something to do with it, didn't you?" she added not in the mood for pleasantries or jokes at all.

"Of course I have something to do with it, my dear Miss Baggins. - he said as if it were the most natural thing in the world - what problem does it create for you? Yes, they're a bit chaotic, but they're cheerful. You'll get used to them quickly." 

"I don't want to have to get used to them, Gandalf..." she began but was interrupted , just because one of the dwarves who had arrived with him, a tender, extremely well-educated one, asked in an uncertain tone "Excuse me... Miss Boggins what am I doing with this?" showing her a dirty plate. She spread her arms, frustrated.

"It's Baggins to tell the truth and you can..." she hadn't even finished the sentence that the blond dwarf (Fili? Or Kili? she couldn't remember) grabbed the dish by throwing it in the air like a freesbee. She tried unnecessarily to stop them, but all her dishes were flying around her, while the dwarves sang a song about the things she hated (tick the knives, crush the dishes and the like, all pretty nasty stuff). 

But, when they had finished with the song and she felt ready to faint, she noticed that they had tidied up everything and washed all the dishes used while Gandalf looked at her and could easily interpret it as I had told you, no? At that very moment another powerful blow on the door shut them all up suddenly. It was Gandalf who broke the silence "He's here!" 

Earlene, who at the expense of the crazy and deafening evening had not forgotten good manners, went to the door and opened it, waiting for the umpteenth dwarf to be in front of her, and so it was. It was a pity that the dwarf who was in front of her was decidedly different from the others, he had an unmistakable bearing and charisma, deep blue eyes - with a slightly persecuted air - black hair intertwined with silver threads, a beard that was decidedly short compared to the others and a look that was decidedly more attractive in itself. 

"You said this place was easy to find. - the dwarf said, turning to Gandalf - I got lost twice on the way here. And if it hadn't been for the sign on the door, I wouldn't even have stopped," he commented, entering with a decidedly convinced pace, perfectly ignoring the hostess.

"Sign? What sign? There's no sign on my door, please, I had it repainted last week!" she exclaimed outraged, looking at the apparently uncut door, if not for an engraving of a strange bright rune.

"Of course there is a sign! - puffed Gandalf - I put it there."

_You rude vandal_ , she mumbled in a low voice, but Gandalf didn't hear it and if he had heard it he didn't give a signal preferring to turn around "Miss Baggins, let me introduce you to the head of our expedition and the founder of this company - he said pointing to the dwarf - Thorin Oakenshield. Thorin Oakenshield, I present to you Miss Baggins, our pleasant hostess and the fourteenth member of your expedition."

Earlene wanted to slap him in the face, no, really, she knew it wasn't polite, but she candidly specified that she wasn't interested in any adventure. The dwarf turned around, looking at her with a seraphic smile on his lips that she didn't like at all. 

"And this is a burglar? - he asked in an irreverent tone, bringing himself back perfectly in front of her with his arms crossed to his chest and an expression too mischievous and amused to look forward to anything good - I'm sorry Gandalf but she looks more like an innkeeper than a burglar." he commented.

Earlene grimaced to Gandalf, "Did he just call me an innkeeper and a thief?" she asked outragedly, "In my house?" she specified, "Where his dwarven company just raided my pantry and made my house a mess? Of course you bring me well-mannered people into my house, Gandalf." 

Gandalf did try to speak, but she held him back with an eloquent look "And for your information, Mr Thorin Oakenshield I am neither an innkeeper nor a thief, but a very respectable hobbit lady. Thank you very much."

She seemed to have said exactly what the dwarf was expecting because he smiled, "I thought so. - he commented - Gandalf I really told you a burglar and..."

"...If I say that Miss Baggins is a burglar, then Miss Baggins is a burglar," the sorcerer whispered. The dwarf seemed surprised by his sentence and resumed to turn around her, studying her.

"And tell me, Miss Baggins - he asked you for the first time - what weapon do you prefer? Axe or sword?"

"A kitchen knife - she causticly repeated - those are much easier to handle." 

One of the dwarves (maybe Kili?) mumbled a word in the dwarf language, but Earlene didn't mind, even though the others seemed amused by his consideration. "Karaadvarak" the dwarf who had just insulted her made a grimace. 

It was Gandalf who interrupted the evidently high tension "Thorin you asked me to find a fourteenth member of your expedition and I chose Miss Baggins. She may not be a professional burglar but she's a hobbit. - The dwarf turned to the sorcerer - she has a plush pace, hobbits are incredible seekers and what's more, by all means she has a smell decidedly less strong than that of the dwarves to whom Smaug is accustomed, if anyone can take the Arkenstone from under his scaly nose that person is precisely Miss Baggins."

Earlene was almost struck by his display of confidence. The dwarf, Thorin, nodded "Very well, Gandalf - he mumbled - but I can't be responsible for her safety. She's practically a child." 

"Of course I understand it - the sorcerer nodded - but for your information Earlene is already an adult hobbit." The dwarf did not demonstrate to have heard or to be interested in it. 

Earlene listened carefully as the sorcerer pointed to a point on a map - on a mountain (the Lonely Mountain or _Erebor_ as the dwarves called it) and spoke of a secret door (clearly there was a secret door. And _clearly_ Gandalf had the key. And, equally clearly, they only had the calculated time to reach the door at the right time for it to be visible. _What kind of creature built an invisible door_? **_It was crazy_**.) But Earlene didn't complain about it, but she was worried about the drawing of a dragon near the Mountain.

"Best wishes for entering - he commented in a whisper, making the youngest of the dwarves, the one with dark hair (she was quite sure that his name was Kili), smile - what would that be?" she asked indicating the drawing of the dragon (hoping with all her strength that it was not what she thought. And instead it was).

"Ah! - exclaimed the dwarf with the strange bell hat - that's Smaug the Terrible. It's the dragon who stole Erebor from us and sits in the halls of our fathers with their treasure," he explained.

Earlene gulped "A dragon?"

"Sure! - he again exclaimed that - a fire-breathing dragon of the bad ones, you know of those who open their jaws and burn you and..." 

She made a gesture with her hand, "I get it, I get it." Thorin turned to Balin and ordered him to show her the contract.

"Here, girl, that's our contract. - he explained in a kind tone - if everything goes well you'd be entitled to a fourteenth of the treasure and if things go badly we'll cover the cost of the funerals."

Earlene completely opened the contract that listed a whole series of possible deaths, each one more bloody than the other. Carbonisation, eaten by the dragon and many others. Oh Yavanna, she thought, one of the dwarfs (maybe the one with the strange hair? She didn't remember his name, but was she sure enough that he looked like Bombur or was it Bifur?) asked her if she was okay.

"No, not at all," she commented before falling to the ground unconscious.

Thorin rolled his eyes to heaven at the sight of the hobbit falling to the ground unconscious. She was too delicate a creature for such an undertaking - he had understood it from the very moment she opened the door to her house - if her small, but very round stature showed anything, along with her simple, yet comfortable clothes, it was that that creature had never put her nose out of her hole in the ground. Of course, as his nephew had pointed out, the hobbit was definitely a fierce spirit. A kitchen knife. She had said in a decidedly acidic tone, but decisive, they are definitely easier to handle. That didn't mean that she was suited to such a difficult and dangerous role. 

He watched as Gandalf helped her recover. The sorcerer was at least a mysterious character, but he was helping them and since even Dain had refused to help them, saying that Erebor was the business of the king under the mountain, Thorin could certainly not spit in the face of the allies that life had given him. Even this Miss Baggins if she was willing and he was not so convinced (but he would soon learn that hobbits are surprising creatures) to help them regain their home.

"Mahal! - exclaimed Dwalin at his side - if she faints for so little..." Thorin could only agree (and yet, they would all be surprised by the tenacity and fortitude of the hobbits). 

Thorin sighed, walking by the hot chimney, watching the burning embers trying to take from his head the way that strange creature had looked at him as if he was a cockroach on the sole of her boot rather than the rightful king under the mountain (not that she knew. But she doubted that, even if she knew, she would be interested, he was not her king afterall).

Meanwhile Earlene had recovered and sat with a blanket wrapped around her in her grandfather's armchair, her legs curled up under her buttocks and against her chest, a cup of steaming tea in her hands.

"Give me some time - she pleaded - I'm fine, really." But Gandalf didn't seem to be of the same opinion.

"What happened to you 'Len Baggins? - he deliberately used the nickname her mother used to use with her - where did that little hobbit that explored the woods near her house in search of elves end up?," he asked discouragedly, "when your mother's doilies and dishes became so important?" he asked rhetorically.

"I grew up Gandalf! I'm a mature hobbit now, the worthy hostess Baggins, the house my father built for my mother and for me..."  
"When? - asked the sorcerer - when did you stop being Belladonna Took's daughter and become Bungo Baggins' daughter?" 

"Gandalf - she tried then - I am not a burglar, for the love of Yavanna! - exclaimed - yes I stole maybe some vegetable that was not mine but I'm an honest hobbit and ..."

"The dwarves don't want to steal anything! - exclaimed the sorcerer - they want to take back the home that Smaug snatched from them! - he corrected her - Thorin wants to win back the halls of his ancestors. He wants his home back."

Earlene bit the inside of her cheek. "That would be great, 'Len, think about it! - he exclaimed - you'd see the world outside the Shire. You'd help those who need you," he added, "and you'd have some great stories to tell when you get back."

"That's exactly the point, Gandalf. - he murmured - can you make sure I'll be back?" she asked by clutching more in her blanket.

Gandalf sighed "No." he admitted defeated "Nor can I promise you that you'll want to do it or that you'll be the same person who left." 

She blew a laught "My reputation is already quite unstable as it is, Gandalf. - murmured - I am already the Weirdo of Bag End. Something like that would be the drop that breaks the camel's back."

"I never thought you were a coward, Earlene Baggins."

At that moment a warm and rough voice dissuaded her from her lucubrations and almost as if hypnotized she peeked into the kitchen, noticing that the dwarves were all sitting next to Thorin Oakenshield who was singing a song so sad as to give her tears to the eyes. He sang of home. Earlene had a home, a safe haven, those dwarves didn't. It had been torn from them. 

What better reason? A voice that strangely resembled his mother's asked. What could be better than helping someone, my child? She sighed and grabbed the contract from where it had been abandoned. She swallowed and then closed her eyes. 

Who would win: Baggins or Took? But then, why decide? Couldn't she be a Baggins and a Took? She turned to Gandalf and offered him her open hand. The sorcerer smiled and took a pen of admirable workmanship out of his grey robe, Earlene signed it with firm hands, then rolled up the parchment again and took a breath. She waited for the dwarves to finish singing, and then approached with a plush step and handed the contract to the head of the expedition.

"You have your burglar. - she said - I may not be the best on the market. But I'll do my best to help you get home," she promised.

The dwarf looked at her with a strange look, but evidently surprised, then nodded and Balin grabbed the contract checking it and then rolled it back. "Welcome to the Company, Miss Baggins."

She made a gesture of carelessness with her hand "Oh - she murmured - you don't need all these formalities - she assured - you can call me Earlene or Len if it doesn't make you uncomfortable," she commented "on the other hand, if Erebor is so to the East as can be seen from the map, I suppose we'll spend a lot of time together, it's useless to bind ourselves to useless formalities." 

The dwarves nodded smiling. Earlene offered them her rooms, the master, her parents' and guests' rooms, and the dwarves split up, leaving hers to her - despite the fact that she had offered to sleep in the living room as a good hostess. That evening, after preparing a bag of haste and fury, she fell asleep with a serene smile on her lips for the first time in many years. Perhaps she had committed a nonsense, but her Took side was exalted at the idea of an adventure. 


	2. The mountains trolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the journey!

TWO

THE TROLLS OF THE MOUNTAINS

Thorin rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time since they had left the Shire and Bree behind. Miss Baggins, _Earlene_ , had an unbearable allergy to no one knew what ( _to leave home, almost surely_ he thought bitterly) and kept sneezing and rubbing little nose (up to make it red like a ruby) with that poor excuse of a handkerchief that Bifor had lent her.

_I miss my home_ , she never said it (to his huge surprise), but Thorin had decided that, in his life (and several years had already passed since Mahal had created him and had brought him to the world) nothing would have been more surprising than the strange ironwilled light that had lit up those little amber eyes as she handed him thesigned contract.

No, Thorin had not dwelt on the pleasing aspect of it (Gandalf had been the one to declare her _graceful_ ) that the glowing embers had drawn such a sweet light on her round moon-like face leaving reddish and golden lights on her soft curly hair left loose (he was sure it was quite scandalous, but on the other hand she was alone in her own house and did not expect certainly their visit, so it could be forgivable) that bounced on her shoulders and up in the middle of her back.

"Are you sure, Bombur?” he heard her ask while helping their cook in the preparation of dinner (a task she had taken with extreme seriousness and which also made Bombur glad to have someone who was equally passionate about cooking) “I don't think I have never seen this herb used for cooking.” she commented suspiciously.

" _The girl is doing better than I would have said_."Dwalin commented in khuzdul from where he was sitting sharpening his ax at his side. Thorin made one low and guttural laughter. Despite the constant allergy the hobbit didn't complain at all, yes she was unused to riding on the pony in a hurry (although she admitted she never did ridden in her life) and had begun to settle into the company, and Thorin was sure she had been sorrowful to leave behind her hom.

"I tell ye' yes, Len! - Bombur exclaimed - it is also excellent for alleviating the pain of some wounds." he added masterly explaining the various uses of the herb in question.

_Len_ , despite her approval for everyone to call her with that peculiar nickname only a few members of the company (Bombur, Bifur, Bofur and Ori) called her with, the others kept a certain distance by calling her Miss Baggins, or Earlene .

" _It was good that he decided to join us_ – Balin intervened too in khuzdul – _the boys seems to like her a lot._ ” he pointed out with a lively eye as Kili sneaked up to the hobbit to make a joke of her and he ended up being the scared one when Miss Baggins did turn around with the knife in her hand and a threatening but amused expression. Gandalf sat nearby, smoking his pipe. Most of his company like the hobbit althought she talked mostly to Ori, Bifur, Bombur and Oin; Kili, too, seemed particularly fond of the hobbit so much so that he had taken to calling her constantly _nad karaad_ a term in khuzdul that literally meant _small fire_ and although Thorin was not an admirer of the particular kind of sarcasm of Miss Baggins (all courtesy and politeness) he could only understand the reason for the epithet certainly deserved. Fili, meanwhile - despite trying to pose as a great dwarf (adult and all the rest - understandable considering that if something happened to him it was Fili the heir to the throne) - laughed out loud every time one of the jokes hatched by his brother turned around against him.

From time to time Thorin wanted to be just as carefree.

" _She should never have left her hole_ \- he commented sharply - take care of my words, _she will be just a burden to us_."

For her part (and Earlene would have had a few things to say about broody behaviour of Thorin) the hobbit had no complaints. Although she didn't feel fully accepted by the group she was certainly happy with the dwarves (despite their deplorable table manners). She did miss the Shire, althought. Oh, not the chatter behind the hands or gossip, but the idea of a routine, of everything that is always did the same, without unexpected events. However she found herself having to admit - at least with herself - that perhaps her life in the last years in which she had forced herself to being a very respectable hobbit had led her to be overly nervous and an overthinker because she rarely found herself getting lost behind absurd thoughts during their journey towards East. To Erebor.

The dwarves were nice and cheerful, of course, but they snored worse than the worst blowholes ever heard, and Earlene had always had a particularly light sleep. One of those nights she woke up - not that she was really asleep - and pulled herself to her feet, irritated by the continuous snoring of Bombur. She observed the barren landscape from where they stood on a hill sheltered from the weather. She had never seen the wilds, and she had to say that she hadn't imagined them being so barren and wild. A nocturnal sound made her stiffen. "What was that?" she asked fearfully, Gandalf opened his mouth perhaps to reply, but it was Fili to beat him on time. "Orcs," he commented, Earlene failed to notice Gandalf's surprised look or the grumpy one of Thorin or the shocked and resigned one of Balin.

"Orcs?" She repeated, obviously frightened at the idea of meeting or colliding with the orcs.

She knew the wild lands were teeming with them, but that didn't mean she didn't hoped never to meet them.

"They are silent - Kili continued - they attack at night, nobody hears them until it is too late. Then only blood, screams and death."

Earlene turned back to the landscape swallowing emptly and only when the brothers let themselves go with giggles she realized that they had teased her. She turned to them ready to repriminand them for having their fun like that. It wasn't funny when, however, Thorin pulled himself up feet from where he was sitting - Earlene had not even noticed that he was awake - and went towards the ridge, seething “Find the orcs an argument from tavern prank, my sister's sons?” He asked gruffly and to Kili's attempt to justify himself he added “not that you weren't thinking. You know nothing about the world, you two."

Althought Earlene too had thought them a little insensitive the way they teased her was not dissimiliar to how young children usually joked with eachother a typical behavior due to youth; she was displeased because the brothers seemed to be gods puppies kicked by their master.

"Don't take it hard, lass. - Balin intervened approaching - Thorin is particularly sensitive on the subject of the orcs, and has more reason than others to hate them."

Earlene sat down hugging her legs against her chest and glanced at the head of the their expedition, whom gave them his back, his hands joined behind his back, the wind ruffled his dark hair. Eyes fixed on the horizon.

"Yes, but ..." Kili tried, but Balin shook his head.

"You weren't lad - he told them softly - _I_ was there. After the fall of Erebor, King Thror, Thorin's grandfather, attempted to reconquer the lost realm of Moira." he recounted "But our enemy had arrived first, taking possession of the ancient dwarven halls, hordes of orcs had conquered the ancient realm guided by the worst of the scum, Azog the Defiler, the pale orc."

Earlene shuddered just hearing his name.

"We fought, but we were smaller in number and Our enemy had the advantage of covering the mountain," Balin said “Thror faced Azog who already years ago had promised to cancel Durin's lineage from the Middle Earth. Azog beheaded the king, Thrain, Thorin's father, went mad at the sight of the his father's severed head. He was taken prisoner or killed, we didn't know."

Earlene swallowed, imagining the terrible scene.

"We were without a guide. Our king had been brutally killed, his heir missing. The youngest of the princes killed in the battle. Death and misfortune were upon us."

Earlene stiffened. _The youngest of the princes_ , she realized. Then Thorin in the same battle against the orcs had lost his grandfather, father and younger brother, she realized.

"And it was then that I saw _him_. A young prince of dwarves - Balin said, moving his look ato Thorin - only that he fought against Azog the Defiler, with armor ripped and only an oak branch as a shield. " he murmured in an almost reverential tone" And I ... I was afraid that we would have lost him too, but Azog learned that day that the lineage of Durin is not easy to eradicate. Alone and desperate Thorin grabbed a sword and sliced off the arm of the pale orc. Wounding him to death. We had a guide again. To that having seen our spirits rised and he led us to victory."

Earlene followed the elder dwarf's gaze and watched the royal dwarf, his shoulders were stiff, certainly it bothered him to hear that story that told of his extremely heavy losses.

"We drove our enemy back, but there were no songs that night. No, our grief was too much. - Balin's voice brought her back to reality - but Thorin was our rock. He lead us through the wilds, built a house for us in the Blue Mountains and he never forsaken us. And I thought, to myself, there is one I could follow, there is one there I could call _king_ ."

Thorin turned and for a moment his eyes met those of the hobbit, her eyes shone like ambers and were full of tears and grief and it surprised him. Not so much because she was crying. It was a sad story, after all. No, it was because in the her gaze he read no pity. No, he read admiration there and pride of him . He didn't even know that hobbit, but she was both sorry for his losses and proud of the dwarf he was. The notion made him feel strange for a moment, enough that he hardly heard her question.

"And the pale orc? - she asked - what happened to him? "

"That scum - he replied dryly - died of his wounds, long ago."

Earlene was no longer able to sleep that night and things had certainly not gone improving.

They had also encountered bad weather as soon as they left the Shire (thing that, if any hobbit was asked with a little salt in his head, it didn't presage anything good) yet Len had never felt so free and with such a strong intention of prove worthy member of the company.

But such a circumstance would not have been presented for long days, at least until Gandalf left the small company (he wanted to explore the road they had still to go and find a company of someone smarter than all of them, _himself_ ) with the promise to return soon.

"What's up?" she asked, surprised when, despite having brought them two bowls full of Bombur's rabbit stew, Kili and Fili remained impassive watching the ponies. "We should look over the ponies" Fili began guilty "We were there looking over them, really - Kili added - but we have a little problem."

Earlene raised an eyebrow. _What a problem_? Apparently it was a big problem: two ponies had disappeared with lots of saddlebags in their saddle.

And so Earlene (who would have liked to go back to the other dwarves and explain the matter) let herself be dragged by the two brothers through the woods in search of the lost ponies.

And, oh, if they had found them.

Three trolls (in case it wasn't clear, trolls are hideous beasts, smelly and eating anything they can get their lorde hands on) had grabbed their two ponies and had all the intentions to eat them for dinner.

"Come on, _nad karaad_! - Kili exclaimed - you are a burglar, how difficult will it be to sneak under the nose of those fatties?" he asked her when Earlene was ready to go back and warn the others (the wisest thing to do, really.).

"Indeed! - Fili added - they have already made us join the company by a miracle. If they ever discover what happened ... they would send us back to our mother! Please!, and anyway we would be here ready to help you in case of need." he promised, pushing her towards the clearing where the three Trolls had camped.

Earlene wasn't sure at all, but _Len_? Oh, no, Len had the same mad desire to prove to be worthy of her place in the company. So she accepted.

And actually (imagine her surprise) had managed to sneak up to one of the three trolls (really stinky creatures, let me tell you) couldn't tell if Will, Bert or Maso (she wasn't paying close attention) to grab the knife (a sword for her, really) that would have allowed her to free the ponies.

Bad idea , because Maso - she was pretty sure it was him - at that very moment sneezed and put his hand behind his back to retrieve a pretty disgusting handkerchief, ending up catching her together with the stinking fabric, using her as a handkerchief (you cannot imagine the horror of the poor hobbit).

"Look at this Will!" the troll exclaimed (definitely not Will, then) "Look what came out of my nose!"

_Oh for Yavanna and all the Valar_ , she swore under her breath.

"What you say we eat it?” asked the other (Berto?) curiously.

_Ew_ , she wondered, _are these people used to eating their own boogers_? Better not to investigate, so it was that Earlene found herself captured and just while she was about to scream - _damned dwarves_ \- with battle cries Fili and Kili (closely followed by the rest of the company) threw themselves at the trolls. _Oh_ , she thought, _at least they kept their promise_.

In the ensuing chaos Earlene found herself on the ground, and - although the dwarves seemed to be having the upper hand - when William grabbed her by the collar of her tunic (one of her father's old tunics, flanked in the breeches she used when she had to do gardening) showing her to the dwarves they found themselves in a stalemate.

"Drop the weapons or the chick dies!" He threatened. _The chick_?, she asked herself faced and struck before another of the Trolls grabbed her by the other arm and other leg and they threw a little clear threat that if the dwarves had not obeyed she would end up in many small hobbit pieces.

_Damn her and her Took side_. Her frantic and worried eyes focused on Thorin - on those haunted blue eyes - he grimaced with resignation and anger and then threw the sword to the ground (with her huge surprise: the dwarves could have taken advantage of the surprise effect and attacked, of course she would have died, but they would have been free, _for Yavanna sake!_ ).

So it was that Earlene found herself tied up like a ham along with the others, while some of the dwarves had been tied over giant skewers and were slowly turned to be cooked while the trolls were discussing the best way to eat them.

"Not too roasted, Will – Berto said – dwarves are dizzy creatures, irritated and stoppose."

"Stootic and jerky!" Maso repeated, failing miserably.

Will gave him a shot on the head "Shut up, yer fool!"

Earlene winced as she felt the foot of one of the dwarves (Kili?) against her back.

In doing so a tuft of hair moved in front of her eyes, a tuft from which a dangled a pointed clip, her eyes fixed on those of Fili who shone sympathetically and empathically, so the dwarf grabbed the clip with his teeth and turned on himself as best he could use his hands and use the pointed clip to cut the ropes that held her tied.

Silent as a ghost, Earlene sat up and began to free the other dwarves, but Maso ( was he really so stupid if he was the only one who noticed certain things?) shouted "Where has the chick go? "

Without being able to help the other dwarves, Len was forced to hide. While she was hiding, a small and most ignorable ray of moonlight hit her skin and she remembered that in one of her books she had read that the trolls used to move in the night because the sunlight petrified them. She watched the moon in the sky wondering how much it would take for the sun to rise.

Then she had an idea.

Silently she took herself behind Will and exclaimed with an impatient voice and more rough as possible "No, yer fool! We must pluck them first!"

Will took a leap by striking Berto (was it Berto or Maso?) in the head with a big hand “Never call me fool, yer fool! "

"But I didn't say anything!" Berto (or Maso) complained in a sorry tone while he massaged his head.

Meanwhile Earlene moved to the other side, behind Maso (or Berto?), exclaiming with a squeak that reminded of the troll's voice.

"Let's sit on them and make them jelly!" Maso (or Berto) jumped and turned and exclaimed

"Who spoke? Spirits there are here!"

"What spirits and spirits, yer fool! Berto is talking nonsense again."

Earlene held back a laugh as she moved and thundered "Great use of the word nonsense!" she exclaimed “who taught you that?"

"Stop be a smarty, Bert!" Will exclaimed and Earlene ran to the other side making as little noise as possible and tripping on Thorin ( _oops_ ) while running, but she didn't dwelt on his expression (certainly broody and constipated as usual). Had she done so, she might have read the admiration and surprise in his crystalline gaze.

"Yes, Bert! - she called - don't be a pundit!" Bert almost seemed to want to cry

"Yer always mean to me!" he complained like a child.

Earlene rolled her eyes. _What an idiot_ , he thought to herself. She looked at the sky waiting to see even a glimmer of sunshine. She continued like this all night, risking to be captured several times under the astonished gaze of the dwarves watching the scene.

And in the end, when he had no more ideas ( _they were so boring_ ) she found herself desperate enough to suggest, from hidden where she was - behind Maso - with a bombastic voice “And if they had it wormses? - she asked - they don't look very clean. I wouldn't risk it."

But to this Kili suddenly felt taken into account "Hey! - he exclaimed outraged - we don't have worms!"

Earlene rolled her eyes at the sky exasperated, and from where she was hidden, perched behind one stone, she threw a pleading look at the dwarves below her. Thorin seemed the only one to understand, and he kicked Kili and Fili, giving them an eloquent look at which the two took to to shout.

"I have huge worms!"

"Mine are bigger and ..." and a whole other set of phrases like that, Earlene smiled, noticing that her throat was parched from screaming, thundering, and hissing like trolls.

_Breed of wretches_ , she thought with a smile, _you could even think of intervening a sooner_.

At that moment she felt a strange warmth on her hand and noticed the dawn was arriving and that the sun had begun to rise even though those troll, fools they were, didn't notice.

They should have earned just a little more time and the sun would have peeping out of the stones that surrounded the clearing and petrified the trolls.

"Enough with these complaints now. - Will snapped - let's make them fried and close it here. We fry them wormses too."

And the matter was closed there and Earlene no longer had a voice to try to earn some time, she didn't have much choice, exposing herself up as distraction was the only solution.

She was already doing it when they heard a great roar and the outline of Gandalf ( _thanks to the Valar_!) appeared above one of the rocks. He shouted something and slammed the staff hard on the bare stone, splitting it in half and making the sunlight penetrate.

Len breathed a sigh of relief as the trolls turned to stone. A really horrible sight, but that made her feel immediately better.

"Miss Len! - Oin exclaimed approaching as soon as he was free, while Gandalf, Dwalin and Thorin went into a suspicious cave - you seem to have a bad case of hoarseness." he joked.

Earlene grimaced, but smiled "It was worth it. - she croaked in a hoarse voice - we are all alive and one piece. " she exclaimed, amused, as Fili and Kili took turns embracing her and thank her for her plan to save time. She laughed, a hoarse and burning laugh.

Oin scolded them in a clear voice and pulled out a vial from his bag, he handed it to her "Drink a sip - he recommended - every night for some days. You will see that your throat will be better immediately, ” he promised.

She mimed a thank you with her lips as she joined Bofur and Bifur who were talking animatedly with Bombur about what had happened.

Thorin spluttered with dust. There was a lot of dust in the cave and it smelled, but it was clearly a troll shelter, full of treasures piled up over the years - maybe even since centuries - from their three stinking friends. Gandalf extracted swords from a case "Elvish" he ascertained "there is no better steel - Thorin gave him a sliced look - they never lose the thread. And they light up blue when there are orcs nearby."

"Useful." he bit out caustically, the wizard handed him one of the, "They were forged in Gondolin by the high elves. There are no better blades in all the Middle Earth."

The sorcerer broke off, noticing a third, decidedly smaller blade - nothing more that an elven knife of excellent workmanship - and weighed it thoughtfully "This could use it Earlene. "He noted" It seems to me to be the right size."

Dwalin approached weighing the blade "It is barely a letter opener," he commented delivering it at Thorin who watched it. The blade was thin and flat, sharpened enough and had an elegant cut. Yes, as a weapon for such a tiny hobbit it could work, but he didn't know if he felt comfortable knowing she was armed.

But really, was it wise to have her face this unarmed adventure? He returned the paper cutter to the sorcerer "Do what you want with it, wizard - he said - we don't need it."

Gandalf grimaced "You should be grateful, you know? - he asked rhetorically - without Len you wouldn't have survived the night." he commented.

When he didn't answer, the wizard continued, "If it wasn't for her cold blood and the her quick wit you would all be already digested in the belly of those three trolls who are now stone. - he pointed out - she earned the time for me to arrive."

Thorin grimaced but was aware that the wizard was right. "She's smart. - he admitted - I'll give her that. But it would be foolish to have her armed. She has no idea how to use a sword. She could get hurt."

"Oh but this isn't a sword, is it? - the wizard commented amused - it is a knife and Len herself told you that she has a certain skill with knives" he reminded him, winking at him and coming out of the cave with wide steps.

Dwalin approached him " _The sorcerer is not entirely wrong,_ " he commented in khuzdul he turned to take a look at his friend. " No," replied the bald dwarf, "he isn't. Perhaps she will be more useful to the company than we thought. And then, - he added - Fili or Kili could train a little with her, show her how to handle a weapon."

He shrugged carelessly.

"We must not be rushed - he spat out - Miss Baggins helped us this time. - he commented - but the next one she could fail."

"You know, true, that as she is traveling with us as hercompanions and males it would be up to us her protection? - his friend pointed out - and tonight we failed her miserably and it was up to her to save us. Perhaps she deserves less than your judgment."

He stiffened suddenly. "I don't judge her." He justified himself "It's just that she's so _delicate_ ..." he gestured conspicuously with his arms “in short, it would have been enough for those trolls to pull a little e they would have made her it into small pieces. "

"Yet she is resilient. - Dwalin commented - and survived."

The friend said no more moving away and leaving that cave too. Thorin followed him shortly after tying the sword to his waist, his pale eyes fell on Earlene and Gandalf. The wizard had brought her the letteropener and she was handling it awkwardly. _Does it have a name?_ , saw her miming. He could not see the wizard's reply but herested his hands on her shoulder and said something to which she nodded with a troubled expression

_I never used a sword_ , he saw her admit, he sighed (he wasn't mistaken then).

Gandalf put a hand on her shoulder again and said something and that ironwilled look appeared in her amber eyes.

"And I hope you never have to use it, my girl. - Gandalf replied - but in the case, it is right that you are armed. And, remember, true courage is not seen in knowing when take a life, but when to spare it."

Earlene nodded and noticed that in the distance Thorin was watching them, the dwarf king approached and Gandalf left with a wink.

"Miss Baggins." Earlene refrained from rolling her eyes at the formality "Thorin Oakenshield” she rasped in a weak voice. He widened his eyes in front of her low voice, but then seemed to recover immediately,

"It was pointed out to me that ... without your quick wit we may not have survived the night."

Earlene made a casual gesture (she often did, Thorin noticed and wondered how much of it was genuine and how much was dictated by politeness)

"Some of you would have thought of something. - she commented - and then, if Fili hadn't been able to free me - she indicated half of her own loose hair and the other half still raised - my readiness would have served nothing." she smiled "What I mean - she added in front of his silence - is that it was teamwork, that's all."

At that moment Thorin wondered if she would ever take credit for something that she had done, and if she did it out of humility or arrogance and because she was looking for attention. He pointed to the letteropener "Do you think you know how to handle that?" He asked.

She sighed, slipping it in the sheath by her side. "No." she admitted. "And honestly, I hate weapons. - she added - but it is necessary. At the right moment, if I need it I'll use it. After all, how difficult can it be? ” She mused rhetorically.

Thorin sighed "Let me see how you hold it," he ordered in a tone that didn't admit replies.

The hobbit frowned, but obeyed. Thorin watched her, noticing that she was not hopeless anyway, ordered her to get in position and she made a strange grimace, but tried. Thorin rolled his eyes, perhaps she was hopeless after all , he considered. He hit her gently with the back of his newly aquired sword on the legs "Wider – he imparted - at shoulder height."

Earlene obeyed with a determined expression on her face. Thorin nodded, tapped the plate of the blade behind her knee "flex your knees" she obeyed.

He checked her hand grip and he adjusted her wrist and hand around the hilt.

"You're small," he said, "it makes no sense for you to leave yourself from above. - he said - do not wave the sword without a target. You're small enough from close range with a shot and should hit them square straight; like that you could do a lot of damage."

And she was too close because of her smell of oak and strange oils that still – despite the days of travel in which she had not applied them – flared in his nostrils, it seemed soaked her skin and was almost intoxicating and her amber eyes shone too brightly, as did her cheeks which seemed strangely hot.

He took a sharp step back, nodding, "Good." He commented, "I doubt you'll ever be more ready that this - he said brutally - we return to the others. " He ignored the known eyes of Dwalin as he passed him to reach Balin, his friend gave him a little smile and commented in khuzdul " _Aye, a really tiny, delicate creature_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, I hadn't expected that many hits, when it reached 111 the other morning I was like "Look a sign!" because the 111th was the birthday Bilbo celebrated at the beginning of the Fellowship of the Ring and I was like "yes I should totally continue to update this fic".
> 
> So here we are, as always let me know what you think of it! Hope you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> So... here we are at the end of the first chapter... yay! Now, since I am also posting it in my mother language (italian) on an italian website I'll need a full week to actually write the chapter in both languages to post it. 
> 
> So, next chapter (if you'd like to now) is due by next thrusday! 
> 
> So...be kind, and do leave a comment or a kudo or anything you'd like and let me know what you think. 
> 
> For those who ask themselves why I haven't gone with an alliteration of the name "Bilbo" I say that I chose to find a female name I deemed cute to shorten (I quite like Len) with a similiar meaning and since Bilbo means litteraly "shield" I choose Earlene which means "defender" all the same.
> 
> Until next week! Bye, bye, Giuls!


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